Out of the Mouths (or other orifices) of Babes

1. With Christmas approaching, Jadon decided he must make his list for Santa. [I think he keeps forgetting about the whole Santa-not-being-alive-anymore conversation and I'm not sure if I should be reminding him that he's a non-believer. Also, it really worries me that if he already forgot about the Santa talk, he already forgot the sex talk too. But I'm not going to do any reminding about that.] Anyway, the list. The first half consisted of several books he would like while the second half contained the following (in this order): a Nintendo DS, a TV, a laptop, a dog and another brother.

Keep dreaming big my friend.

2. Zac was watching some Barney show about making music to which Barney said, "Everyone can make music." I asked Zac if he could make music. He smiled. Then he farted. No joke. The boy may not say much, but he sure is clever.


3. Okay, this next story really isn't funny if you are a 'normal' person because it has to do with finding humor in my son's disappointment. Nor did anything funny or enlightening come out of his mouth. I suppose the point is to illustrate how socially retarded I am. Anyway, we recently signed Jadon up for flag football [completely his idea]. Of course, I think he will have fun and do well. Then Jadon asked me today if he'll get to wear all the gear and pads and stuff when he plays football. I told him no, because he is signed up for flag football. He almost cried. And I was laughing hysterically. It was better than watching a sad clown. Oh my gosh, I'm so horrible. It just never occurred to me that he would ask to be signed up for a sport that he didn't have the slightest idea about. So perhaps I was really laughing more at myself for this error? Yeah, who am I kidding. Don't worry, I proceeded to explain to him what flag football was and told him that I thought it was a very fun game to play. That seemed to appease him.

4. Zac continuously says, "Naked boy!" any time he takes off an article of clothing. Except it sounds more like "neh-hee boy." I love it.

5. Eddie got food poisoning last week and when Jadon found out he said, "Now Dad, I've thrown up before. All you gotta do to get through it is stay calm. And don't eat much food for the day." It was really quite sweet and very authoritative.

6. Jadon found out that I've written a poem of two and decided to write his own. His inspiration: a candle that was burning in my bedroom. It's entitled,
Beautiful Fire
How I just love to see the candle burning
Blue on bottom
Yellow in middle
Red on the top
Of the nice, peaceful, beautiful fire


7. Jadon also typed a paper at school in the computer lab. The prompt was about helping others. He said that most kids in his class only came up with 2 or 3 things while he wrote this:

You help others by making donations and help by giving old clothing, food, and a nice home. Also you should really be nice to others. You don't know how long they'll be around. You should really be nice even if they don't like you and you don't like them. People try to help you with problems like if you're lost and you try to help them. People try to help family members, a friend, or a pet. All sorts of things help people like bugs eat insects that try to eat farmers' crops. Or the venus fly trap eats up flies. Policemen keep the city safe from robbers. There are also people like this called mall cops. They stop bad guys from robbing the mall. Helping people is great.

8. Mom, did you know that if people kept peeing until they were 32 that you and Dad would still be peeing?

Never a dull moment...