Sex and Santa Claus

Jadon: Mom, if Santa Claus and St. Nicolas are the same person, but you can only become a saint after you die, how is Santa Claus even alive?

{Yes, that would be my kid using deductive reasoning to conclude that Santa does not exist. Well, he was open to my explanation and I wasn't about to stifle his logical thinking.}

Me: That's a good question. I don't really have an answer for it because you're absolutely correct.

Jadon: Really?! So do you believe in Santa Claus?

Me: I believe in what he stands for and what he represents.

Jadon: Wait, so you believe in what he represents but you don't believe that he exists? Then how did I get all those presents from him?

Me: Well, moms and dads buy gifts and write that they are from him so that the spirit of giving can stay alive.

Jadon: So when did St. Nicolas die?

Me: He probably died a long, long time ago.

Jadon: So how do we know all about him?

Me: We don't. You see, over the years people have added things to the story: that his name is Santa Claus, that he lives in the North Pole and has elves that help make toys and that he drives a sleigh with flying reindeer.

Jadon: Well, you were going to have to tell me sooner or later because I would have to know that in order to keep his spirit living for when I have kids.


{Kid was not heartbroken one bit.}

But I couldn't help but thinking that:

A) all the excuses I was giving him were similar to how one could explain away the existence and/or divinity of Jesus Christ. {Which admittedly caused me to have a mini-evaluation of my own faith.}


and B) that given the events that took place earlier this week (ie; the sex talk) I feel like I have officially robbed my child of his innocence.

SO for those of you wondering how the sex talk went...

I used this picture:


Explained how women have eggs, men have sperm. Sperm fertilizes the egg and an embryo is created that looks like so after about 6 weeks:


And after 40 weeks, a baby is fully grown and the mom gives birth.


Some key terms were thrown out such as uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries, testicles, etc. and their basic functions provided. I was also sure to include that we were given these body parts to create life and that they were not to be abused or misused. You know, the whole your body is a temple philosophy. {I figure I'll have to keep reinforcing that one as he gets older.}


He was really quite fascinated. Of course, he had some more questions like:
How does the sperm get inside the woman? Which got the standard reaction: GROSS!

And these were some of my favorite follow up questions of his:

Jadon: Wait, that means you and dad had to do that after I was alive so you could make Zac. Where was I???

Me: You were asleep in your bed.

Jadon: And I didn't even know?

Me: No, nor will you ever.

Jadon: Do I have sperm?

Me: No, not yet.

Jadon: When will I get sperm?

Me: You'll get sperm when you're a teenager.

At which point, Jadon proceeded to look down at his crotch in awe and say: WOW.

Then, after some consideration of all his newly acquired information, Jadon said: Well, I'm kind of glad I'm a boy because we have the easy job because we don't have to keep a baby in our belly for 9 months and push it out and...and...

Me: Yes, yes you do son. {Smart kid.}

In conclusion, I think the human body is an amazing thing. But I'm really glad that one is over with... for now.