Sex and Santa Claus

Jadon: Mom, if Santa Claus and St. Nicolas are the same person, but you can only become a saint after you die, how is Santa Claus even alive?

{Yes, that would be my kid using deductive reasoning to conclude that Santa does not exist. Well, he was open to my explanation and I wasn't about to stifle his logical thinking.}

Me: That's a good question. I don't really have an answer for it because you're absolutely correct.

Jadon: Really?! So do you believe in Santa Claus?

Me: I believe in what he stands for and what he represents.

Jadon: Wait, so you believe in what he represents but you don't believe that he exists? Then how did I get all those presents from him?

Me: Well, moms and dads buy gifts and write that they are from him so that the spirit of giving can stay alive.

Jadon: So when did St. Nicolas die?

Me: He probably died a long, long time ago.

Jadon: So how do we know all about him?

Me: We don't. You see, over the years people have added things to the story: that his name is Santa Claus, that he lives in the North Pole and has elves that help make toys and that he drives a sleigh with flying reindeer.

Jadon: Well, you were going to have to tell me sooner or later because I would have to know that in order to keep his spirit living for when I have kids.


{Kid was not heartbroken one bit.}

But I couldn't help but thinking that:

A) all the excuses I was giving him were similar to how one could explain away the existence and/or divinity of Jesus Christ. {Which admittedly caused me to have a mini-evaluation of my own faith.}


and B) that given the events that took place earlier this week (ie; the sex talk) I feel like I have officially robbed my child of his innocence.

SO for those of you wondering how the sex talk went...

I used this picture:


Explained how women have eggs, men have sperm. Sperm fertilizes the egg and an embryo is created that looks like so after about 6 weeks:


And after 40 weeks, a baby is fully grown and the mom gives birth.


Some key terms were thrown out such as uterus, fallopian tubes, ovaries, testicles, etc. and their basic functions provided. I was also sure to include that we were given these body parts to create life and that they were not to be abused or misused. You know, the whole your body is a temple philosophy. {I figure I'll have to keep reinforcing that one as he gets older.}


He was really quite fascinated. Of course, he had some more questions like:
How does the sperm get inside the woman? Which got the standard reaction: GROSS!

And these were some of my favorite follow up questions of his:

Jadon: Wait, that means you and dad had to do that after I was alive so you could make Zac. Where was I???

Me: You were asleep in your bed.

Jadon: And I didn't even know?

Me: No, nor will you ever.

Jadon: Do I have sperm?

Me: No, not yet.

Jadon: When will I get sperm?

Me: You'll get sperm when you're a teenager.

At which point, Jadon proceeded to look down at his crotch in awe and say: WOW.

Then, after some consideration of all his newly acquired information, Jadon said: Well, I'm kind of glad I'm a boy because we have the easy job because we don't have to keep a baby in our belly for 9 months and push it out and...and...

Me: Yes, yes you do son. {Smart kid.}

In conclusion, I think the human body is an amazing thing. But I'm really glad that one is over with... for now.

Fortunes for Fortune Cookies

Recently, Jadon figured that he could do a better job at creating fortunes for fortune cookies.

And I think he was right.

Piece of Cake

So when stuff happens like an alarm system flare up that disables your vehicle, a flat tire, a broken toe, or even a dead girl found in her apartment from a drug overdose... all of which are added to the multiple activities, appointments, deadlines and commitments that are already set in motion... and you wonder how you're going to get it fixed, make it work, be there for everyone, succeed, and maybe find an outlet for your stress so you don't explode...I always try to have the attitude that things will work out, say a little prayer, believe that things will work together for my good, trust, experience the small miracle, recognize it as such, and be grateful.

Since I couldn't run [away] and sweat out the added stress of recent events [because I didn't have enough stress in my life already], I decided some baking was in order. One morning, I acquired a recipe for pumpkin cake with cream cheese frosting and was pretty sure I had all the ingredients. Nope. I soon realized that this cake proved to be a metaphor for my life.

Sometimes you don't have any pumpkin, pretty much the main ingredient. But you have sweet potato to substitute with. Sometimes you don't have any white sugar. But you have some raw sugar and some brown sugar. You might not be sure how it will work as a substitute so you just have to hope that it will do. Sometimes you are worried about the flour which is really important in baked goods. You don't have enough in the main jar so you have to dig through your pantry in hopes of finding some stashed away somewhere. Lo and behold, you find some extra and it is exactly enough. Sometimes you are short on the cream cheese but you throw it in the frosting anyway because you don't want the little you can provide to go to waste. Oh and instead of using a standard cake pan, you use a sheet cake pan [much bigger] because sometimes you need to stretch what you have so that it is enough for you, your family, and others. Our lives can be much this way. In the end we may have done the best we could to follow the recipe but end up yielding a make-shift, improvised end-product.

Not to brag but rather to illustrate my point, this little "pumpkin" sheet cake of mine turned out to be pretty incredible, all things considered. I was able to keep some for my family and share the rest with friends at the Institute. One guy said it melted in his mouth, another that it was really delicious, another that it was so light, another [actually more than one] scarfed way more than they anticipated to. Now, I am my greatest critic when it comes to cooking but I don't even like cake and I thought it was good. Most people were really surprised after they took their first bite [I guess they didn't think I could cook or something] and by the end of the evening, the pan was cleared. I was happy, they were happy. And things worked out.


Sometimes life can be a piece of cake.