Birds and Bees (Almost)

DISCLAIMER: This post happens to contain way too much information for someone who may not know me too well so... a) don't judge and b) have fun feeling like you're reading my diary...

So after using the restroom the other day, Jadon came out and said, "Mom, I'm sorry you don't have a penis." I almost died trying to suppress the giggles. What is it about that word that just makes you laugh? Okay, maybe I'm immature. After all, I still laugh at the sound effects of flatulence.




Back to the topic on hand however, it got me thinking why my son was apologetic. I mean, was he apologizing because I am a female? Does he think that having a penis makes him somehow better than girls? These types of things run through the feminist mind...

So I prodded him a bit with more questioning. I asked him why he was sorry that I didn't have a penis. He replied, "Because you have to sit down and pee out of your butt." (Oh good, just a misunderstanding of the female anatomy.) Our dialogue progressed as follows:

-Well son, girls don't pee out of their butts, they pee out of their vagina.
-Oh, that's what M said. (Great, he's learning about sexual organs from his friends.)
-What exactly did M say?
-He said what you just told me, that girls pee out of their vagina, not their butt. (Apparently this has been on his mind before.)

Here's the kicker: He then asked me if he could see mine.

I reaffirmed that girls have a vaginal area, part of which they pee from but that it was a private part, like the penis, that is not to be shown to other people.

-But I just wanted to see what it looks like. How does the pee come out?

Okay, I gave in and looked up the nastiest picture of a vagina. Not nasty like STD nasty but basically from an anatomy book. So like I totally didn't read the whole blurb on the website about how only kids OVER 13 should be looking at that picture. But seriously, anything else would have been potentially pornographic you know? And I really don't want any pop-ups on my computer.

His reaction...

-Ewww. I'm glad I have a penis because it looks better than that.
-Well, this is the inside. There is skin that covers it up on the outside.
-So that's where the pee comes out?
-No, the pee comes out here at the urethra. (Pointing to it.)
-Then why is there a big hole there?
-That's where babies come out when it's done growing in a mommy's tummy.
-So you must have stitches on your vagina because my head can't fit through there. (Smart kid, no?)
-The hole opens up big enough for the baby's head to come out.
-Oh okay. That picture is kind of gross but kind of cool. (So glad he didn't ask anymore questions like, "So where exactly do babies come from?")

I don't know, this ordeal got me thinking about the whole talking to your kids about sex topic. It's so different in each household. In mine, we were fairly open and frank. My mom is a nurse so she probably approves of how I handled Jadon's questions in a more scientific manner by showing him non-sexual pictures from an anatomy book. So maybe you agree or disagree with how I explained it to my kid but to each her own. Every kid is different. Jadon is particularly inquisitive. I figure that if he has questions about boobs (yeah I don't call them breasts like maybe I should) then I'll show him a picture of a woman nursing. After all, that's what they're for right?



This totally reminded me of being 5. My mom was preggers with my brother and quite frankly, I was OBSESSED with where babies came from. There was this book called A Child is Born that had totally cool pictures of the growth of a fetus. I was absolutely fascinated. At that age, I used to pretend I was pregnant by putting pillows under my shirt and would go so far as to grunt when I 'pushed' the baby out. Did I not say I was obsessed? Looking back now, I realized that even though I was a bit of a tom-boy, didn't play with dolls, refused to wear dresses, nor was I the most sensitive or nurturing kid, there was still a part of me that identified with and wanted to become a mother.

Oh, the joys of parenthood...